The Day in the Life of A Drug Addict I awoke to the smell of an old house, the lights were off and thehouse was cold and damp. Doug was nudging me saying “Wake-up! I got us awake-up . .
. get out of bed!” He was wide awake and holding a sixteenthof cocaine in his hand. My stomach started churring as I got up and ran tothe restroom. He had woken me up many days like this but today Doug reallyhad the dope.
He enjoyed waking me up and making me think he had some After I threw up, I washed my face leaving the water running, andsearched for the needles hidden under the cabinet. I gave Doug the spoonand I tried to pull thirty units of water into the syringe. Doug hit me onthe side of my head and said “Your shaking too much, let me do that. ” Ipulled away from the faucet and let the syringe fall into the sink. Then Irolled up the shirt sleeve on my right arm.
I looked at my arm. I hadtracks, needle marks, up and down my arm. My shirt sleeve had blood stainson it from the day before. I held out my arm and demanded “I get the firstone and I want coke not watered down coke!” Doug pulled my arm close tohim and inserted the needle in my arm. As I was shaking, he told me “Makethis last for a while girl. ” I felt the dope hit me and ran out of therestroom.
I was shaking and could not get my breath. I enjoyed thisfeeling although I knew it was not going to last. I could hear every soundoutside and inside the house. My heart beat grew faster and I felt therush going away. I wanted another fix.
Doug had just got finished doing I grew scared and felt like Doug was going to do most of thecocaine. I did not want to feel the down side of this high just yetalthough I knew it was coming very soon. Five minutes later I fixedmyself another shot of cocaine and handed it to Doug. He was shaking andcould not focus on what I wanted him to do.
I cried out to God asking forhim to “Help me. ” Then Doug came to some sense, he pulled my arm close tohim and gave me my shot of cocaine in the same place he had done it earlier. I felt the rush and hit the floor. All my senses were focused on thefeeling I was getting from the shot of cocaine I had just received. Myheart was beating fast and my mind was listening to the loud sounds aroundme. Then the more frightened I grew, I knew someone was out to get me.
I stayed afraid. I just knew I was going to get killed or I was going tojail. I felt the impulse to watch the street outside the old ran downhouse. I stared out the window shade and thought of how I was going tomake enough money get some more cocaine that day. Doug yelled “If you wantmore of this you best get in here!” I went back into the bathroom and didthe last shot of cocaine we had.
Doug stared getting mad “You do too muchof this *censored*!” He was coming down and was feeling the down side of hishigh. “How in the hell are we going to get more today?” “I let Brandy useyour car and she gave me this *censored*!” ” It was not even very good! Huh?” Doug always watered down the last shot of cocaine he made for me. He also enjoyed making me feel like I had done it all. I could only thinkof one thing.
How was I going to stay high today. I hoped someone wouldcome by to share their cocaine with us. I knew if they did not the day wasoff to a bad start. Once I had gotten high, I was no good. I was afraid This day was like many other days.
I did what I had to do. I didnot think of anything but staying high on the cocaine. I picked up mybible and prayed “God if your .